Feel What You’re Feeling & Do It Anyway
We spend so much of our lives trying to mitigate and evade pain, but by the time we notice, it’s too late. We’ve wasted so much time, or we’ve felt far too little of what we wanted, and we lost our chance.
Every day we have to choose between that which is easy and that which is worthwhile, and I’ve always said, every choice has a cost.
We’re so afraid of rejection that we put up with people and their actions, all the while knowing we shouldn’t, deep down.
We’re so crippled by the judgements and opinions of other people that we don’t do what we need, or want, to do.
We’re so afraid of being alone that we take the minuscule crumbs of affection and attention thrown our way so gleefully like, we don’t want more like we don’t crave it.
“He who cannot obey himself will be commanded. That is the nature of living creatures.” Nietzsche
Why are we so afraid to define how our love should be?
Why are we so scared of saying what we want and how we want it?
Why are we so fearful of expounding on how our love should feel, taste or smell?
More to the point, why don’t we walk away when we know we’re not getting what we deserve?
Maybe it’s because of fear, a spot of self-doubt or a lack of clarity. Either way, we don’t do what we know we need to do and eventually end up hurt, angry and traumatised.
It’s so disheartening to see people change and shrink themselves because of needless, unpleasant experiences.
It’s so hard fixing something that someone else broke.
Having someone who shut down because of trauma open up takes so much; so much time, so much patience, and willpower it’s harrowing at times.
What if we defined our needs and wants? How we want it, how it should be, how it should taste and feel.
What if we were strong enough to walk away when things dropped below our defined bare minimum?
I don’t know how you start your romantic relationships, but I’ll assume you’re like most people and save the hard questions for last. This approach works until it doesn’t, and when it often doesn’t, it’s too late to walk away. By the time we ask the hard questions, we’ve already invested so much into the relationship that we end up making terrible decisions.
We’d save ourselves so much pain and time if we asked the hard questions first. So why don’t we? Why don’t you?
Feel what you’re feeling and do it anyway.
Your feelings are not the enemy. I think of my feelings as tiny strands of feedback about how things and my life are going in general. I don’t read too much into it. I go with the ebb and the flow and acknowledge that I am not my feelings. One of the feelings I constantly struggle with is distress. Instead of being held down by it, I ask myself why I feel like this. I then group the answers into macro and micro views where the macros are encompassing, and the micros are contextual.
The above process helps me break down my stressors into things in my purview and the stuff beyond it. I work on the things I can and try not to stress about the things I can’t.
You don’t have to let your emotions get in the way and practically stop you from doing what you need, or want to, do. You can feel what you’re feeling but still do what you want or need to do. It’s all about self-awareness.
It’s funny how this is such a perfect time to be alive, but so many of us don’t enjoy being amongst the living. So many of us prance around in masks while we hide the real version of ourselves in shells filled with pain and regret amongst a whole host of other things. We can blame everyone and everything else, but I’d like to put you on the spot. Where’s your accountability? Don’t you know that you’re responsible for the outcomes of your choices?
We’ve put so many things on such high pedestals that we’ve forgotten to be impartial about them. We only view the merits instead of viewing the advantages alongside the disadvantages. We’ve forgotten that we’re all connected. We’ve forgotten that what we do or don’t do today will affect our tomorrow. We’ve become so short-sighted and impatient that we do what we have to do regardless of the cost. I guess that’s why we hurt people. I suppose that’s why we’re okay watching our planet die. It’s probably why we never intervene until it’s too late because we’ve forgotten.
I hope you know that in the end, we will all account for our actions. What we did and what we didn’t do. Not convinced, huh? Okay. I hope you also remember that we’re on a clock, and eventually, our countdown will hit zero. Wouldn’t you look back at your life with contentment rather than look back at it and be filled with regret?
The choice is in your hands. Stop letting temporary moments affect your whole life. Stop letting fear hold you back because I swear as you’ll be waiting to depart from this world, you’ll have one question that will be along the lines of “Did I do everything I could have done with my life?”
And if that answer is not yes, you’ll probably turn into those bitter people you avoid. You know, the ones that never see a ray of sunlight in anything. The ones that always have something negative to say. Be mindful of what you say and what you do because if you won’t, your ignorance will cost you more than your conscientiousness will.
We like to think that the best of us have their status because they never faced the emotional challenges of fear or self-doubt or uncertainty, but that’s not true. They are the best of us because they didn’t let what they felt stop them.
And if they could feel what they felt and did it anyway, you can too.